musings on the beautiful facade

I am off and reading a new book.  Tosca Lee, Iscariot.  One of my favorite authors of all time simply because (as all my favorites do) she has the ability to make me stop and rethink how I view the world and my place in it.  I am still in the infant stages of the book, so I’ll let you know later how it challenges me in future, but, having just finished Ted Dekker’s Outlaw & Eyes Wide Open series I am acutely aware  that  my spiritual being  is nowhere near the level to which I aspire.  I’m talking about truly allowing this “beautiful façade*” to fall away completely; to come to the place where I understand with my entire being that this “costume”, this body, is merely ”just some sand*”.  This physical body, though I strive to take care of it so that I might be able to do that which I am called to do, is nothing to be revered or conversely, to be shamed.  I am who I was created to be.  I see the world through the eyes of an oft broken and rebuilt soul instead of the perfect eyes of my Savior.  I meet every experience with bias and judgments left behind as residue from the previous experience.  I am a soul in constant flux.  Always rewriting, challenging, building, destroying…I am, in a word, human.  But am I?  I often don’t feel as though I understand the rules here.  I still have a hard time understanding malice and hate even after 40 years on this planet.  Maybe I am just naïve.  Maybe I am just my Father’s child.  Many days I still feel like a babe barely able to walk on my own.  I’ll keep searching and asking questions.  I’ll be sure to let you know if I ever come up with the answers.  ;)

*for those who don’t know of my earlier work in Gospel – “Beautiful Façade” and “I won’t be here” (just some sand) are earlier works.  You can grab a listen here.  http://www.indieheaven.com/artist_main.php?id=39567